Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Book Title: "The Redneck Guide to Monster Hunting"

On Monday my son Mik and I went out shooting and wound up having a conversation about killing monsters.  I have to admit that when it comes to firearms instruction, I've been rather negligent with my kids.  We've only shot guns a few times and I also trained them in basic safety rules, including how to unload and clear a weapon.  This has to do with the cost of ammo being high when you're on a tight budget, not to mention the time required to get out to a range.

But Mik is enlisting in the Marine Corps (Mik is short for "Mikhail," by the way) and so I thought it would be a good thing to prepare him for what's to come by imparting to him what relatively little shooting skill I possess.  We shot for several hours and Mik did well with the .22 rifle, putting so many rounds in one spot just off the center of the target that it looked almost like it had been hit once by a .50 caliber bullet.

I remarked, "That's good enough for zombie killing" (zombies have been on my mind of late).  So we jokingly discussed me writing a book called, "The .22 Rifle Guide to Zombie Killing," with specific advice on where to shoot the zombies and how.  This morphed into the ".22 Guide to Monster Killing" and then finally "The Redneck Guide to Monster Hunting."

As a tongue-in-cheek guide, I think such a book has the potential to sell BIG.  Horror fans, sci fi and fantasy fans, and of course, rednecks, could potentially be drawn to this like vampire bats to a pint of O positive in a bear trap (oh, that should be, "like bees to honey").

The devil is in the details, naturally, and each and every means of "redneck monster killin'" would have to be ingeniously ridiculous.  A good illustrator would also be a big help with this sort of book.

You'd be looking for entries something like this:
 
Werewolf Grenade Noodlin'
Step 1:  Put a grenade in yer hand.  Pull pin.
Step 2:  Shovyer hand in werewolf mawth.
Step 3:  Countta 5.  Bye bye werewolf.

Warnin':  THIS'LL ONLY WORK TWICE!


It'd be fun to write anyway.

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